Commentary on the Oscars

I think I might do a running commentary on the Oscars. Because I have a sad and pathetic life and have no one to share my witicisms with. It's not like anyone is reading this anyways.

Amy Adams is a really good singer. I liked her in Drop Dead Gorgeous. Great movie.

Michael Douglas & Catherine Zeta-Jones are kind of cute together. That may be even creepier.

Why is The Rock on the Oscars? He's presenting best action something or other (best visual effects) and I got nothing against the guy but...The Rock?

What's up with all of the Hollywood pregnancies (Cate Blanchett is on)? Sometimes, I swear the timing of the writer's strike was on purpose. All of the movies would have had to shut down anyways.

I just laughed out loud at a Jon Stewart joke (about Cate Blanchett but in a very good way). I'm feeling optimistic about the show.

I love watching the audiences' faces.

Oh, Jennifer Hudson, didn't you just win the Oscar last year? What happened to your acting? Okay, Best Supporting Actor, okay was rooting for Javier but would also most definitely have sex with Casey Affleck. He has always been my Affleck of choice. Please do not let Hal Holbrook win. Definitely no sex with him. But his wife, Dixie Carter, is looking great.

Javier wins. They all knew it. Game faces didn't even need to be on.

Did they really just have a montage to binoculars? Oh, okay, this is part of a larger joke. It's alright.

Another song. At least the singers are good. The little girl is wicked. I have always wished that I could sing like a black woman.

Owen Wilson is looking rested and tan. Best short film might be an option for me as well. Hey, I actually understood some of the french that guy said in his acceptance speech. Maybe some of my brain cells are still left.

Okay, a montage to the bee. Weird, but strangely appropriate with the hive crisis, so again, it's okay.

What is up with John Travolta's hair? Is it sprayed on? Say it ain't so.

Tilda Swinton gave an atypical speech. I liked it. Funny, very irreverent, and thanked the key players. Pleasantly surprising.

Second out loud laugh.

Oh, Josh Brolin & James McAvoy, would have sex with both of them.

Best Adapted Screenplay to the Coens. While I would not have sex with either of them, I do love their movies and thus am kind of rooting for them. Plus, really loved The Road. And, good short acceptance speeches. I think it's going to be a No Country night.

No... the sound guy lost again. 20 times in a row. When will they give him the award? Can you imagine.

Upset, upset. The french woman won for Best Actress. Youth over sentimentality. What is going on with the Academy? She was cute though. She totally didn't expect it.

Colin Farrell. I don't think I need to say it, do I? I am a sucker for an accent that's for sure. I actually like this song. It's the one from the Irish movie, Once. I am a fan. And I would have sex with the guitar/singer (although only if he broke up with the piano/singer apparantly they fell in love on the set and I would never want to get in the way of that). And they actually wrote the song! I am totally rooting for them over the Disney songs.

I would not have sex with Jack Nicholson, I don't think.

Roderick James (the alias of the Coen brothers') didn't win for Film Editing. They showed a picture of an old farmer in the 20's. I thought it was clever.

I love what Nicole Kidman is wearing. She's pregnant too by the way. It suits her.

It must actually be really hard to be nominated and in the audience. You always have to be 'on' because the camera could flash to you at any moment. Luckily they never flash to the writers so I should hopefully be safe from embarrassment.

And now Patrick Dempsey. Proof that time invested in skinny geeks can be well worth it.

There are more good looking men on this show that pregnant actresses. It's unbelievable. Of course it's been quite awhile since I last had sex but anyways. Because I would have sex with the singer of this crappy Disney song as well.

John, the hair. No, it is not good. Yeah, the cute couple won for the song that was actually good. And sexy, fabulous accent man wins.

And now Jon Stewart just let the girl come back out and say something because she didn't get a chance. I am loving this Oscars, I tell ya, it's warming the 'ol heart.

I got tired and stopped writing but I'll sum up the rest...
Best Oscars ever. Jon Stewart, excellent job. I laughed and was not annoyed. All people who won, excellent speeches. And the Coen brothers took it all.

The Oscars

The Oscars is starting...

I love the Oscars, always have. Maybe it's because my first Oscars was the one with Cher in the infamous headdress. No, it's actually because I want to win one. Three actually. All for best original screenplay. I of course have not yet written any of these screenplays but I do have all three speeches planned as well as a rough idea of what I will wear (I've always thought a pale icy blue for my first).

This is kind of a strange Oscars for me. It's pretty much the first year that I have absolutely no opinions on who should win because I have seen no movies (budget & time constraints). So I'm judging pretty much based on who I would have sex with . So, Javier Bardem. But, at least this is the first year that I can not be disappointed. Because I'll be honest, most years I swear I will never watch the Oscars again after the atrocious decisions the Academy makes (proof of the idiocy of the masses). All I have to say is Titanic. But, most of these movies seem really good. Except for Atonement. Don't know about the movie but I hated the book. Absolutely hated. Allowing a lying brat and a misunderstanding to ruin true love. Bull$#%*. I have no pity, no respect, no anything for characters who allow that. Bull$#*@.

I do love that green dress though. I could wear that to my second Oscars, it would be vintage.

A Call for an Independent Texas

I need to stop watching the news because....

OH MY GOD! Someone in Texas just shot two people in cold blood. Murdered them as they were running away. In broad daylight, in front of his neighbor's suburban home. And the debate is whether he has broken the law.

Apparantly, Texas has just passed a law that makes it legal to shoot someone to 'defend your property'. So, this old white man saw two black immigrants breaking into his neighbor's house. He called 911. They said they were sending someone. The white man said 'I have a shotgun. Do you want me to do anything?'. The 911 operator told the man to stay in his home. The white man said 'I have a right to defend myself. I know the law they just passed. I can shoot them' The 911 operator told the man 'no', over 11 times. And when the two black men came out the white man shot them, in the back, while the police were on the way.

And he may not have even broken a law?

What? It is illegal not to wear your seat belt; it is illegal not to have your car registered (I almost got arrested for that one); it is illegal to smoke cigarettes pretty much everywhere nowadays, yet it is legal to MURDER someone in COLD BLOOD, with proven intent? People in California are in jail for life for being caught with weed too many times. And it is legal to murder someone?

Seriously, we need to get rid of Texas. They are the source of all of our problems if you think about it. Immigration, the kind that makes everyone angry (I am constantly amazed at people's hatred of immigrants 'cause where were your grandparents from? Mine sure didn't come here legally all those years ago), really Texas' problem. They are the ones who stir the pot and get all angry. I don't here California shouting about any damn fence. And why is alternative energy been stalling for all these years in Congress? The oil lobby, aka Texas.

And then they can have their guns and their pickup trucks and their crazy Wacos and their bad politicians. Hell, we can even throw Oklahoma in, if they want. We will miss Austin and the astronauts saying 'Houston', and I will really miss Ron Paul because I think he is just great and so needed and I've always been grateful that he is not a Democrat because I might then have to vote for him, but I really think it's a win-win situation for all. And remember, Ron is originally from Pennsylvania so he could retain his U.S. Citizenship.

Barack & Hillary

I'm really sorry that I am talking about politics again. It's not really the intention of this blog to be so heavily political but I can't help it.

So, anyways, Hillary is at it again. She is 'shaming' Barack. Literally, she said 'shame on him'. For dirty politics, misleading the truth, that kind of thing.

Pot kettle black?

Does she not realize that it is not good to yell at people for doing the same thing you do? Especially when it's so blatantly obvious that the News figures it out?

And what did Barack do? He replied calmly and explained it.

That is why we need him as our next president. Calmness, sanity, the ability to defuse a hostile situation...

Sometimes I worry that he will give in to the goading. That he will become like them. Please do not. Please do not. It's just so nice to hear a politician say some of the things I would. It makes it kind of hard to believe he's doing as well as he is, actually.

I don't know but what I do know is this. Hillary will not be the next president. The American public will not vote for her. California, New York, they are a bit more jaded and able to see through her personality flaws. But, the midwest, the heart of America, never. All the independents and a lot of Democrats there will vote for John McCain over her.

And another Republican in the White House? Dear Lord, I just moved back to America.

George & HIs Little Fence

So George W. Bush wants to build a fence across the border...

How does that make any sense? Are we in ancient China? Are their Mongol hordes beating at our doorstep? And didn't the Mongols get in anyways?

I also believe that a fence across Australia did not stop the little bunny rabbits, although it did help three small children get back home, so that was good.

Come on. Are we seriously considering building a gigantic fence across the landscape? An impenetrable fence, meters high, spanning the desert. How is that not the most ridiculous endeavor ever? (Actually, Star Wars in the 1980's, notice how no one ever mentions that when they are venerating Mr. Reagan).

I actually think it's illegal. I'm fairly certain that it would be against the endangered species act (animals are not yet illegal immigrants) as well as some other environmental laws. Of course, following the law has never really been a concern of Mr. Bush now has it.

Aren't we headed into a recession? I know that there are starving children and sick old people, as well as one particularly broke blogger, who could better benefit from that money. I don't know, childcare assistance for working mothers, rehabilitation programs for drug offenders, alternative energy funding (and not biofuel, but that's a whole other blog). I could think of a million more things way better than a goddamn fence.

And isn't there a river over part of the border? Is the fence going to cross the Rio Grande as well?

NRA for the Environment!

So I have a brilliant idea. The NRA should start campaigning for the environment.

Think about it. They need to shoot their guns at something. If there aren't any more birds or animal habitat they won't have any thing to shoot the guns at (not legally at least and I think even the NRA wants to have some form of political correctness). So, they should be putting at least some of their money and power towards protecting the targets. It can even be a whole new campaign. 'Protect the targets. Ensure that your children and grandchildren will have something to shoot.' It's worked for Ducks Unlimited.

Can you imagine if the NRA starts campaigning for the environment? There might actually be some hope for us all then.

A bit about Barack, a bit about guns, and even a bit of Abe Lincoln

I can't believe no one has commented yet. Oh, maybe that's because I haven't actually said anything yet.



Obama....



Okay, there, I said something....



While I think that I wish to focus on societal commentary in this blog, politics is society and my mother is definitely a societal issue and so we are back to Barack.



It's not just that I like him and he's a Democrat...it's that he actually says the things that I would say in his position. For example, the tragedy at NIU (hit a bit close to home, grew up 45 minutes from there and if you know anything about the area, 45 minutes away is basically the neighboring town). When pressed to connect the horridness with gun control he says that 'it is our constitutional right to have a gun'. Exactly.

I am not for guns. I do not understand why people have the need to have one, especially in light of statistics. I really do not understand why people are so obsessed with them and I really don't understand why someone would want to carry one around. Aren't they heavy? And don't they require a lot of cleaning and maintenance and upkeep (I'm recalling the tragic CSI Miami (my love for the H is a whole other posting) in which a young CSI was killed because he did not take proper care of his weapon). I also would not have sex with someone who had a gun because I would be paranoid the whole time that it would go off accidentally and paralyze me because I have that kind of luck).

But, it is in the Constitution (even if that bit is subject to interpretation). And so Barack said exactly what I would have said. Plus, I get really mad when the stupid extremist groups try to back people into corners.

But the real reason, the deep down reason, I like Barack is simple. He reminds me of Abraham Lincoln. And it's not just because both are adopted sons of the state of Illinois. It's much more.

(Ironically, Hilary is the one who is actually from Illinois. By the way, how the hell did she end up being from New York? I was out of the country during the early 2000's, I think I missed a lot.)

Abe always projected a kind of integrity, respect, and melancholy that I also see in Barack's face. These are melancholic times. And I want a president who realizes that. Who doesn't pretend everything is going to be okay once we have universal healthcare or who hides from it under the guise of 'terror'. I don't know. I have feared for our future for a long time and I feel that we are at a crosswords. A great man once said (this is a paraphrase) that great leaders come in terrible times. I know it's a gamble saying that Barack is the next Abe Lincoln and I'm not really a gamblin' type of gal but hell, I don't see any other good bets.

First Words

I have no idea what a blog is supposed to be...but here goes.

Hello, my name is Pixie Demento, and welcome to my blog.

Obviously that is not my real name but that is in the interest of protecting the identity of the innocent. While I do not include myself in said category I still believe in protecting the innocent.

What should I say about me? First, I will say that this whole blogging thing is already starting to feel like a lot of pressure. I must be clever, witty, pithy, and memorable yet not pretentious, cloying, or annoying. Great, one more thing to feel bad about in my life. Yes.

Maybe I'll just give you a few hints about me. Yeah, every post I will reveal a new clue and see if you can figure out who I really am. I promise no lies although I do not promise to not be tricky.

I am a female. I remember all of the 80's and none of the 70's (this is not as obvious as it seems). I may be the smartest person in the world and I am definitely one of the most moronic.
And that's enough for now.

Is anybody out there?